there is no greener grass, only different shades

one day at age 14

i stood behind the kitchen counter

and declared to my mother

"if i ever get married,

i hope i don't get divorced!"

to which she replied:

"i hope so, too, honey!"

well, here i am

half a life later

separated

with a child

who cries at night

because at 20 months

she is incapable of understanding the words

"daddy doesn't live here anymore."

i felt sorry for myself

for 5 minutes

because we all have something

in our lives

maybe i am one of the lucky ones

i look at other people

and wonder how they managed

to have it all together

how they picked the "right" person

the "right" career

the "right" path in life

and i keep choosing cul-de-sacs

life is a series of one-way streets

we come to a fork in the road

go left or right

can never go back and choose the other

but there are detours

we just have to find them

a couple i know

dear, dear friends of mine

are truly in love

they waited to have a child

and she is gorgeous

perfect, but for a chromosome

she has no muscle tone

they will lose her, most likely,

before her first birthday

but they delight in her smiles

they have never been happier

they say

this fellow is amazing

lost his wife to a blood clot

she was on the way to hold

their newborn daughter, for the

first time

only she didn't make it

he lost his soul mate

but he has the little girl

to treasure

if given a chance

would either change their path?

i can't say

but i know that if i were in their place

i would not

people are always saying the grass is greener....

but i don't think that it is

i think there are many different shades of green

we must be content with the hue of our garden.